Lettuce Wait Around…
Yep, I haven’t written in almost two weeks. I’ve become that blogger–so inconsistent!
A lot is going on in my life right now, yet nothing is going on at the same time. I’m mostly just waiting.
I mentioned in previous posts that I wish to return to the friendly skies (hmm) as a flight attendant, and that I interviewed with one airline in Florida about a month ago. After putting me through all sorts of hoops with the background checks (they wanted me to show proof of my whereabouts for every month of the past five years, not an easy feat for someone who hops around as much as I do), they invited me to go to Virginia for four weeks of training on April 25–less than a week away. YAAAY!! They emailed me a pre-training packet, which has all sorts of things for me to memorize: a departure announcement, airport codes, etc. I’ve been studying very hard and have about 99% of it down so far.
On Tuesday April 13th–the same day I was invited to training at Airline #1–I attended the open house of another airline, in Chicago. I made it to the “second round,” to put it in American Idol terms I guess, in which they selected people for a face-to face interview. Not sure I did so well in the interview, but still keeping my fingers crossed… They said they’d email us within a week, and it’ll be a week tomorrow. I’m going crazy!! Checking my email every five minutes! Spam folder, too!
Airline #2 is my first choice, but if I were “stuck” with #1, I’d be just fine. I just want to fly again. But what if #2 picks me and I’ve “wasted” my time learning all of #1’s announcements and airport codes, only to start all over with another training packet? Ugghh yes there will be overlap, but I’m afraid my brain will explode.
And I have to buy clothes for training (another suit!) and pack all my stuff and… and…
Needless to say, I haven’t been cooking very much. Not “real” cooking, anyway–I’ve been eating a lot of tofu and frozen veggies flavored with Spike and nutritional yeast, which is my go-to meal when I’m feeling too dignified for spaghetti with jarred sauce.
Last night I was going to make an Indian dish–something with kidney beans–but am missing a key ingredient. GINGER!! WHY CRUEL WORLD??? In Chicago I bought friggin’ asafetida, whatever the hell that is, and the thing stopping me from making this dish was something as pedestrian as GINGER?? Son of a B. For blogging purposes, I could’ve probably made it anyway and taken pictures of it–how would you know?–but I just couldn’t bring myself to deceive you in that manner.
But…wait…isn’t there a jar of minced ginger in the refrigerator? I’m so used to buying it fresh that I forgot I had a back-up. Somebody punch me in the mouth.
For lunch today, I was inspired by the crazy lettuce “bush” on my kitchen counter. I bought it at the farmer’s market a few weeks ago, and although all I’ve done is water it and keep it out of direct sunlight, it’s really sprawled out. Wait–it? She is so clearly a she! Her name is Beatrice now.
Bea–yes we’re already at that point in our relationship where we use nicknames–didn’t deserve to be in a measly salad, so I decided that lettuce wraps would make her feel more special. For the filling… mock tuna salad? Okay. You had me at the word “mock.”
Mock tuna salad, when done right, tastes just like actual tuna salad. Okay, I lie like a rug. But trust me, it’s a darn good substitute, worthy of your Triscuits, potato chips and toasted wheat bread.
Was my version worthy? Hmm… uh, well, I used this recipe as a guideline but didn’t have celery or green onions and I used a lot more kelp powder (who knew I had fuckin’ kelp powder?) and pickles ’cause I love pickles, and some cayenne pepper and white pepper.
Not terrible, but let’s just say: back to the drawing board. A splash of lemon juice next time, maybe? Mustard? Huh.
But look, I do have pictures!!
First you have to drain, rinse, and mash 15 ounces (a can, if you will) of chickpeas. Use a potato masher, then a fork to get any sneaky rebel beans. This takes forever.
Then you add some kelp powder (I think I used about a tablespoon?) to give it that seafood flavor. And sea salt. Then a heaping spoonful of Vegenaise and whatever else you like to put in a tuna salad. Ideally, I would use celery, large chunks of chopped dill pickle, green onion, mustard, white pepper, lemon juice, and a dash of cayenne pepper. But I’m not here to micromanage the seasonings because everyone has a different way–the “right” way–of making it and I don’t want to get yelled at.
After assembling and mixing all the ingredients, I put my tuno in the icebox for a few minutes to let it marinate. Meanwhile, I pinched off a few of Bea’s leaves–thanks, hun–rinsed them and let them chill in the ‘frige too.
When my tummy started growling fiercely, I pulled the fake tuna mixture and lettuce out and made wraps! Aww how cute.
And I wolfed it all down in two seconds. I liked the texture okay, but definitely need to get the right seasonings–I always have chickpeas so this could be another go-to meal. When I start flying, I’ll need lots of quick and easy things that I can take with me. FA’s don’t make enough money to eat airport food all the time.
The lettuce–I mean, Beatrice–sure felt mighty special, I tell you!
Man, this waiting is driving me insane. But FA’s are supposed to be flexible!!
So Indian food for dinner tonight, yes? Okay.