McDonalds’ McRib, I’ve Figured Out How to Quit You.
During my meat-eating days, I never really cared for McDonald’s food… except for certain special times of year when they sold the McRib. Oh, I cannot count the ways in which the McRib gave me such orgasmic mystery-meat joy. Just what exactly is that mechanically-formed patty, all covered in sticky sauce, made of? The world will never, never know. In terms of fast-food rotations, McRib Season was the most wonderful time of my year. Sigh.
You may think that I’ve had to give all that up, since I stopped eating meat. But nope–I can still have all the sensual pleasure of the McRib without eating any animals. And ridiculously easily, too.
Because did I mention that my cholesterol is low as fuck and I’d like to keep it that way? :) Sorry, that was gratuitous bragging.
Anyway. The vegan version of the McRib starts out the same way as the original: with a mysterious, chemical-filled (yet delicious) patty. I used Morningstar Farms’ Hickory BBQ Riblets. I think GardenBurger’s Meatless Ribs are slightly better, but they weren’t available.
Meanwhile, I prepared a salad with some lovely organic rainbow chard, toasted walnuts, and dried cranberries. Let’s see McDonald’s serve THAT! Probably should have boiled the chard because the leaves were a bit tough, but losing the gorgeous colors of the stems would have made me cry.
Sorry my bad photography doesn’t do this beautiful salad justice. :(
After I got the salad and the toppings for the sandwiches ready, I toasted the bread in the oven. The rolls I got from Whole Foods were sprinkled with cornmeal just like the McRib bun, but were much crustier and healthier.
Though the patties come with plenty of sauce, I added more for photographic purposes (see below). The brand I used doesn’t really matter…For your purposes, in order to compliment the sauce that’s included with the riblets, you should use whatever sauce has the most sugar and hickory smoke flavoring. Seriously, that stuff is more like BBQ-flavored syrup than sauce.
Bun, patty, pickles, onions…I assembled my sammich.
And fell in love.
Happy (fake) McRib Season!